spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
