maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
