But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
