wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize