gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize