It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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