Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
