sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
