clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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