i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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