Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
God, you're like boner-b-gone
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
