So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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