You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
