69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
