Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
