we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
