I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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