Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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