In America we eat man semen.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
