what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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