you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
