we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I have already put on my inside pants.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
