Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
