Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
