Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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