What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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