I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
