then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
