My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I wear drunk well.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
