What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
