nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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