he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize