i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
