Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
