I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
