i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
