She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
