careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
