Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
