Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
