Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
