And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
