Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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