Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
she woke up with a sticky ear
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize