Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize