i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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