i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
