I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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