could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
