His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
