I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
