Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
