So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
