then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
