Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
