I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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