Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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