Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
