Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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