it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just google imaged poop.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
