I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
