omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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