so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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