No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
