whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I pour the whiskey from now on
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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